Be Gentle With Yourself

I often find that people who are the most critical of themselves are sometime the ones most deserving of treating themselves more gently. If things aren’t working out the way you want them to, being critical of yourself won’t help the situation. The circumstance itself is probably hard enough to manage without you adding harsh self-criticism. What you need in these times is a friend who is loving, compassionate and encouraging. You can be that person to yourself and for yourself. While it’s wonderful to have a support system of friends and family, the role you play for yourself is also important.

You probably made plans, set goals and made every effort to accomplish what you set out to do and it just didn’t work out the way you hoped. You may have even questioned why life is so unfair. While I can’t answer that question for you, I can tell you that perhaps you are being too hard on yourself. Maybe you worked really hard and didn’t get that promotion at work or you undeservedly yelled at your children after a long day at work out of pure frustration. This doesn’t mean that you are a bad employee or a terrible parent. It just means that you are human and not perfect. Congratulations on being like the rest of the population! You made mistakes and maybe even said things that you wish you could take back. You can’t change the past and your mistakes don’t have to be an indicator of the type of person you are or will be. Try not to focus so much on what you’re doing wrong. Praise your efforts for trying to do your best, acknowledge the things that you are doing well and show gratitude for the things that are going well in your life. Things may seem bad but ask yourself, is it really the worst thing ever?

We all use what I like to call internal speech. Your internal speech are the things that you say to yourself. For many that internal dialogue is often negative, critical and at times harsh. By changing your speech to be more gentle and encouraging, you give yourself the motivation and encouragement to keep pressing on and to try to do better next time. Tomorrow is a new day and a new opportunity to give your best. Internal speech that is negative only tears you down allowing self-doubt to creep in and when you fail it says “see I told you this was going to happen”. I encourage you to be more gentle to yourself. It’s challenging to deal with difficult situations and the emotions that surround it. Use statements that encourage, support, motivate, and inspire you to keep trying to be the best you can possibly be.